It was bound to happen.
After doing pretty well in the 30 Days Styled By My Boyfriend fashion challenge for the first five days, it was time for his first faux pas (for me, it was more like FML).
I'd seen it coming; he'd warned me there was still time to do an Anzac theme before the actual day. So on Saturday when I get up, his Broncos gear is all laid out in the spare room for me, and he's standing a metre away, grinning like a Cheshire cat. I get out of wearing the matching tracksuit pants thankfully, because they're about five sizes too big, and it's not until after he takes the photo that he remembers he was going to give me a football to carry too. Phew! I ask him if his mates had anything to do with it, and he mentions that they may have made some suggestions.
He calls this one, "Anzac Filly'; I call it "The Stitch Up". You're probably wondering by now if I set some ground rules in the beginning, and the answer is: yes I did. The rules were pretty much that the outfits couldn't be too tight, and they had to be suitable for the weather and occasion. In this instance, I think he took the 'occasion' bit a little too literally. Luckily it's a public holiday, and the only time I have to leave the house is for a bbq in the evening at my parents' house.
Despite the smile on my face, I'm not happy, Jan. He's having too much fun with this. Can I get changed yet?
Day 6: Anzac Filly
Day 7: Grecian Rocker
I think the thought processes for this outfit are 'grab the closest items to the bed'. He quite literally opens his eyes, rolls over so his body is facing the wardrobe, and without getting out points at various items of clothes in the clean clothes basket, strewn across the floor and on the back of the chair. Again, it's risky - and a little lazy - but it kind of works.
Still in bed, he tells me my shoes remind him of a Grecian goddess, while my jacket makes me look like 'a member of the Finks bikie gang or a rock chick'. Hey it's comfy, and for a day spent buying gifts at Westfield Chermside, it hits the mark.
Day 8: High Tea or Courtyard Cocktails
It's Monday and print day, which means a long day in the office, so I've told him comfy is best. He asks me where my 'onesies' are.
My onesies? Ahh, yeah - I feel the need to clarify my earlier statement to him: it doesn't need to be that comfy. He explains: "You know, clothes that are in one piece," he says. Oh right, like a dress perhaps? I point him in the general direction of my dresses in the wardrobe. He chooses one, pairs it with my shoes from the day before, and titles it "High Tea. Or Courtyard Cocktails."
I think it's a little casual for high tea, but I'm not going to a high tea anyway, so that's fine. I ask him if he knows what a high tea is. "Yeah, it's like a posh event where ladies go and eat treats and get on the sauce!"
Umm, sort of?
Day 9 : Nudie By Nature
He's getting much quicker at styling, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing as it generally means he's just pointing to random things. Today, he finds my nude pumps and then the shorts, and after trying on three shirts, he decides on this sheer number. I can't be certain whether the outfits he chooses are based on looks he thinks are any good, or purely on my reaction to them. It's not that I'm actually saying anything, but sometimes my facial expressions might reveal how I feel about them - just a little!
He looks for my clutches. He's still learning that hats, scarves and clutches aren't a necessity every single day. He chooses my Molten Store clutch, which is hands-down my fave bag, but there's no room for my lunch, my iPad or even my wallet.
I reckon this look is my fave so far. And while I'm possibly a little overdressed for a Tuesday in the office, I'll be wearing this again (probably to an event).
He calls it "Nudie Rudie", then changes it to "Nudie By Nature" after he deems the first name a little childish. Yeah, totes.
Day 10: Modern Day Joplin
He's full of courage today after a positive response to yesterday's outfit.
"Everyone reckons I'm a natural!," he says. I still think he's fluking it. And lets face it, he's got a good wardrobe to work with.
With a big smile, he pumps his fists in a boxing motion in front of the mirror before opening the wardrobe and grabbing the brightest item he can find - my Sass & Bide pants. He then proceeds to pull out every white shirt I own and make me try them on. This is the frustrating part. Often it's about 11pm the night before when he starts choosing the outfit - and I just want to go to bed, goddammit!
He eventually decides on a white top, then pulls out the highest, most uncomfortable heels I own (I'm pretty sure I've worn them once). "You look like you're from the circus," he says, beaming. He obviously thinks that's a good thing. "Or like a hippy. What's that chick's name with the long hair that sings those songs? Janis Joplin. I call you: Modern Day Joplin."
Day 11: Simply Irresistible
I tell him I have an event that evening, so it needs to be relatively dressy. Out comes a black dress with power shoulders, circa 2007, followed by about six different belts, faux furs, and scarves. He looks overwhelmed.
"What happens if I quit?" he asks. I tell him he can't do that.
"I'll just do what that couple did on The Block. Say I quit to create some drama, and then come back. That'd be good for the story, wouldn't it?," He says, earnestly. He again laments that I don't have enough accessories. "Where are all your necklaces?" he demands. Hey, I'll happily stock up on accessories!
He decides none of my scarves suit, and the leopard print belt looks good, but it's probably a little overkill with the faux fur as well. He chooses black shoes, but tells me I need to wear red lipstick, despite previously telling me 'I'm not your makeup artist" when asking what makeup to wear with a look. I put everything on.
"Catwoman!" he exclaims, looking me up and down, followed by "nah, I've made references to too many Marvel characters. I call it Simply Irresistible; like those dancing sheilas in that film clip."
Day 11 | Downtown Abby
He actually hasn't made too many faux pas this week, but I just know there's one just around the corner. He grabs my Union Jack jumper from the wardrobe first up today: another souvenir from my mum. I have actually worn this jumper before, but it was for Daggy Jumper Day last year, which raises awareness and funds for homeless youth.
I put it on, and in all honesty, it is kinda cute. I scold myself for keeping so much stuff in my wardrobe that I don't actually wear. He grabs my grey skirt and and red shoes, and despite him probably intending for it to be a bit of a stitch up, it's totally wearable.
"You look a bit hipster," he says. " I call it Eastender Bender - no, wait - Down Town Abby. I'm nailing this!" he says.
He is doing quite well, but the halfway mark can't come soon enough!
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