'Tis the season to be jolly but sometimes it’s hard to maintain that festive cheer when gifted an absolute stinker of a present in front of eager onlookers. We did a whip around for the worst gifts people have ever received and lets just say some of them would have had us grinding our teeth behind a fake smile.
1. The worst present I ever got was from my Nana. When I was eight, I received handkerchiefs with someone else’s initials sewn into the corners. Turns out my Nana was renting one of the rooms in her house, and the housemate died. I inherited the handkerchiefs. True story.
2. I once received (from my then boyfriend) a Mr Wonderful doll. When you pushed its hand it said things like, “ Did you have a hard day honey? Why don't you sit down and let me rub your feet,” and "Here, you take the remote. As long as I'm with you, I don't care what we watch." Pretty sure it was a typical boy panic, last-minute buying decision. I’d seen it during a previous Christmas shopping trip as it was sitting prominently at the front of a large store at our local shopping centre and thought what a useless, patronising gift it was. Imagine my surprise when I opened up on Christmas day. Needless to say we are no longer together!
3. I have an irrational fear of chickens and my dad thought it would be funny one year to also gift me a real live chicken with a big red bow. Safe to say I was not OK that Christmas... I regifted the chicken to my grandparents who live on acreage.
4. My boyfriend and I broke up three days before Christmas. His gift to me was a crystal ball. Still not sure why. Maybe I should’ve foreseen the breakup.
5. Nothing. Hubby thought shops were open Xmas Eve!
6. I never used to be able to cook anything without turning it to charcoal, and one year Dad decided to get me cookbooks. He thought it was very funny. I did not. (Story continues below video)
Jimmy Kimmel told parents to give kids terrible presents and film their reactions.
7. I got army-green Bonds underwear - not just one pair, like ten pairs. My step-grandparents owned a school uniform store and they were from the discount bin of leftover stock no one wanted. Considering their actual grandchildren received bikes, dolls and books I was pretty hurt. Luckily I had the best grandparents in the world on Mum’s side, and they made up for everything!
8. A small desk fan because I'm “on the computer a lot” from my Mum. I tried to feign excitement but failed. I later told her it was a swing and a miss.
9. One year I got a lavender filled bear. Which would be lovely if lavender didn’t give me extreme migraines. I didn't realise the bear was filled with lavender (there was no tag or box) until the third horrible day of vomiting and lying in a dark room. I'm sure other people experience symptoms like these around the silly season but at least it's self-induced!
10. I once got a Marvin the Martian remote control holder... from my boyfriend. That was all I got. We'd been together for a year.
11. A water jug from Aldi from my in-laws. I accepted it with gritted smile.
12. Plop Trumps, a game about poo. Gotta love family Secret Santa.
13. Nothing. I received nothing one year – not from my parents, no-one. That was the worst ever.
14. My mum gave me padded coat hangers from Woolies.
15. My ex-husband gifted me a dog calendar because I’d told him I wanted a dog.
16. A second-hand copy of 50 Shades of Grey from a director of a company I worked for as a Secret Santa. And she was proud to tell everyone it was pre-read.
17. A younger sister! Just kidding, I love her.
18. I was 12 and lots of great Super NES video games were all the rage. A close relation who shall remain nameless because I love them so much gave me a box that looked JUST like a game box. I opened and it was just socks. I’ve never been so disappointed.
19. When I was in grade six, I received a pink cotton T-shirt with a fluffy appliqué koala and a New Year calendar. To make is worse, it was wrapped in an oversized box that made me think it was something awesome. And it was a genuine gift!
20. A remote control flying shark. Seriously.
21. My sister got toilet paper from my brother a couple of years ago. Four-ply though, so it was the fancy stuff.
22. I got scratch-and-sniff black satin pyjamas with bright pink strawberries all over them.
23. A 12kg Himalayan rock salt lamp. My aura's just fine how it is, thanks. It was from my partner's mother last year. I said, “Oh, wow! I never would have guessed!”
24. I gave my sister a dead cockroach for Christmas once. The look on her face was priceless. The look on Mum’s was not.
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