The Lazy Girl’s Guide to Moving

The Lazy Girl’s Guide to Moving

“The time has come,” the walrus said, “to move all your belongings to a new place and wonder how you accumulated so much junk.”

By Sarah Taviani | 8th January 2016

There are lots of exciting things about the prospect of moving (housewarming party, anyone?) but when you actually see how difficult it will be to pack your entire life into some boxes, you may be overcome by ennui. You may have to lie on the floor for hours, staring at the ceiling and thinking about all the things you should be doing but are not ready to get up and do yet. Or you may burst into tears at the sight of moving boxes. It’s happened to the best of us.

Lazy girl Jess new girl crying moving house

But you can get through this even if you don’t even lift, bro. You just need to break it down into baby steps to save time and sanity. And money, too. So you can use it in the future for other things you’re too lazy to do yourself. It’s the circle of life and it moves us all.

1. Spring clean your life

Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is your new best friend when it comes to decluttering. There’s one simple principle to follow: only keep what brings you joy. Get rid of those old clothes you’ll never fit into again and all the other junk that you said would come in handy someday.

You’ve always felt a bit guilty about throwing out things that are in decent condition. And so you should; throwing it out would be wasteful. So try to sell it on Gumtree or, if it’s in good condition but not going to rake in a good amount of money, donate it to charity. There’s a chance that your donation might just make someone’s life a bit easier, plus it’ll improve your whole moving process by ridding you of things you otherwise would’ve packed. ALTERNATIVELY, you could save these products for step 6.

2. You don’t need moving boxes for everything

Once you’ve decided what clothes you want to keep post-spring clean, don’t waste boxes on them. If your clothes are on hangers then just pop a garbage bag over the hangers to keep them clean and transport them in the back of your car. If the clothes are folded, scoop them all into a garbage bag and re-fold/sort when you get to the new place. This goes for any soft furnishings and linens as well; it’s much easier to transport and a heck of a lot more convenient than assembling boxes. If you’ve run out of garbage bags, you can always just shove everything into a suitcase. Because WHEELS.

3. Only hire professional movers/packers for certain things

We could just say “hire professional movers for everything ever” and leave it at that. That would be Lazy Girl 101. But we’re about making your whole moving process easier, not just one day of it. The thing is that not all movers are created equal. And you might not know that you’ve picked a dud until all your things are lost or broken and you have to summon the fiery wrath of hell to deal with the company. Pack what you can yourself and get the movers in for the massive or unwieldy items that you can’t persuade any of your mates to move for love or money. (If you have a piano, I’m looking at you.) Whether you decide to go it alone or get movers to do everything, ensure that each box is labelled correctly and like things are packed together. If you forget to label everything and accidentally pack your only frypan in with all your books, it can be a confusing time. And it probably does not count as efficient packing.

4. Rent a van

In lieu of movers doing all the work for you, there’s an easy way to transport everything to your new place. These days, you can hire a GoGet van for a reasonable fee, load it up with everything you need and move things at your own pace. Ready to move the big ticket items a few days before the bits and bobs? This option is perfect because you can move everything as and when it suits you rather than scrambling to get ready for the movers on a specific day. Plus, you’ll be surprised at just how much can fit in a Toyota HiAce when you employ the principles of Tetris.

Tetris packing level: expert

5. Get up early

As much as it sucks, if you’re working a day job and you’ve only got the weekend to move then you need to get up early. Maybe you’ll be finished in one day and you can have Sunday to snooze to your heart’s content. But you definitely don’t want to be stressing on Sunday evening when your belongings are scattered across two houses and you’re supposed to be returning your old keys bright and early on Monday morning.

6. Find willing slaves

If you can rope a bunch of mates into helping you, it SHOULD make everything go much faster. But how can you pay them? Many friends will accept payment in kind (which means you have to help them when they move), as well as fuel to keep them going throughout the day. Like pizza and beer.

Here’s where all your hoarding comes in handy. Those clothes that don’t fit you but are still in good nick? The various shampoos and conditioners that are half-used but still smell awesome? The DVDs, CDs and books you realised that you no longer want? All that fitness equipment you fully intended to use? Put them in a pile. Tell your slaves friends that they all get a go at the pile after the work is done. Most impressive helper gets first dibs. It sounds like it won’t work but trust us, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

7. Bond cleaning

So all your stuff is out of your old rental and into a new rental (or your new forever home, whatever). You may be tempted to clean everything yourself because it’s cheaper. And you totally can with the help of some cleaning magic. But you’re also very busy and important right now and chances are you’d rather spend your time setting up your new place so you can sleep.

Just bite the bullet and hire some bond cleaners. They’ll have it spick and span for you in no time so you can get back to passing out on the floor of your new home.

8. Set up the important areas first

As much as you want to face-plant into the couch and spend the rest of your life watching TV, you know deep down that it can wait. The areas that can’t wait? Your bathroom and bedroom. Moving is a great excuse for takeaway food but after a strenuous and stressful few days you need somewhere comfortable to sleep. And you need to be able to wash away the hell of moving. Set up the areas that are absolutely necessary before moving on to the fun stuff.

9. Find a place for everything

When you start to unpack things, don’t go dumping s**t everywhere. You’ve worked hard to get through this moving mayhem so fend off the Lazy Girl in you for just a bit longer and please, for the love of all that is chocolate, try to unpack one box at a time. Make sure EVERYTHING in that box has its place before moving on. Otherwise you’ll be left with a bunch of half-unpacked boxes and, before you know it, the ennui will be back to bite you in the butt.

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Article by Sarah Taviani

Sarah is a Journalist. She loves lists, stationery and dresses with pockets. Sarah frequently breaks her self-imposed book-buying ban when she’s not looking.

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