The 2016 Oscars Gift Bag Is Here… And It’s Insane

The 2016 Oscars Gift Bag Is Here… And It’s Insane

Vampire Breast Lift, anyone?

By Elizabeth Best | 9th February 2016

Who cares if you actually win at the Oscars when this extreme gift bag is the consolation prize? Valued at a whopping $US200,000, these celebrity-worthy consolation prizes are next-level.

These bags are reserved for nominees, with this year’s list including Jennifer Lawrence (again), Matt Damon (again), Eddie Redmayne (again), Cate Blanchett (again) and Leonardo DiCaprio (AGAIN, GEEZ). So what do these perennial winners get to take home this year just for being nominated?

How about a 10-day first-class trip to Israel worth $55,000 (oh, yeah sure, let’s pack our bags right now). Or a year’s worth of Audi car rentals from Silvercar ($45,000). Or how about a VAMPIRE BREAST LIFT ($1900).

Yep. That’s a thing.

According to the press release, “featured by Cosmopolitan, the new secret ‘must-have’ item in Hollywood is the Vampire Breast Lift procedure, which uses blood-derived growth factors to revive rounder cleavage without implants… The Vampire Breast Lift uses a woman’s own blood to improve appearance. Designed for zero downtime.”

Good then.

Other crazy presents include:

  • A 15-day walking tour of Japan ($45,000),
  • Three private training sessions with “celebrity wellness expert” Jay Cardiello ($1400),
  • A lifetime supply of skincare creams from Lizora ($31,000),
  • A Fit Club TV “Ultimate Fitness Package” in a private villa ($31,200),
  • An “arouser” providing “gentle suction and stimulation” for the female nominees ($250),
  • A laser skin-tightening procedure called Ultherapy ($5530) and
  • A Haze Dule V3 Vaporiser ($249.99).

Distinctive Assets, the company charged with selecting the out-there goodies is pretty chuffed with their record-breaking selected haul. “Once again a blend of fabulous, fun and functional items meant to thrill and pamper those who may have everything money can buy, but still savour the simple joy of a gift.” #firstworldproblems.

But as much as it may seem like it, this isn’t just an excuse to shower celebrities with financial expressions of our love and adoration. The street cred for these brands to be associated with the big names in the film industry is astronomical. Can you imagine if Leonardo DiCaprio totally got hooked on YOUR BRAND of face creams?! You’d never have to work another day in your life… maybe.

The Oscars will be held on February 28 in the US and televised February 29 in Australia.

Like this? Then you need to check these out:

How To Contour Your Face Like a Celebrity

Best Gifts For Beauty Addicts

The Great Oscars Snub: Does Leo Deserve The Award?

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Article by Elizabeth Best

Elizabeth is the former Digital Editor of Style Magazines. She knew she wanted to be a journalist from the age of six and has spent the past decade working for some of Australia's top publications. She also thinks mint chocolate is a gift straight from the heavens.

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