Even though it’s an awesome workout for your index finger, swiping through Tinder is hard. How do you separate the candid shirtless photos from the narcissist selfies? The smooth pick-up lines from the plain old dad jokes?
We’re here to help you with our foolproof list of major Tinder DON’Ts. After all, Beyonce said it first… “TO THE LEFT!”
CAN’T SPELL OR USE GRAMMAR
Put “to” and “too” together and give this one a miss! There’s nothing more frustrating than someone who can’t string together a basic sentence. Unless English is his second language, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to communicate properly! Or maybe it shows he just doesn’t care enough to try. Either way, you don’t need “they’re” frustrating spelling and grammar in “you’re” life.
DOESN’T DO PUBLIC PLACES
If he refuses to meet in a public place, this should be a BIG RED FLAG. “Netflix and chill” might be all the rage, but it isn’t the smartest option for your first date. Try suggesting coffee in a crowded café or a drink at a busy bar. And if he still refuses to budge? You’re better off giving this one a miss.
CAN’T HOLD A CONVERSATION
“How are you?”
Abort! If he can’t keep up a conversation the very first time you chat, he either isn’t very interested or you’re really not compatible. Making conversation shouldn’t feel like pulling teeth – and no, sending endless emojis does not count as talking! ☺
LOOKS LIKE A MALE MODEL
There’s a good old saying: if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. How many 24-year-old male models/animal lovers/volunteers do you meet walking around the streets of Brisbane? Chances are he’s stolen the photo from a Swedish modelling agency website and is trying to pass it off as his own. This means run. Ever seen the show Catfish? This is a case for Nev.
ISN’T EMOTIONALLY STABLE
Deep conversation is good! But too deep… there might be an issue. You’re not his mother and you don’t deserve the pressure of solving all his problems. If he doesn’t even know your favourite food but you’ve listened to how he got fired from his last two jobs, how he misses his cat and why his landlord is such a jerk, then he’s WAY too emotionally unavailable. Better swipe left now and save yourself the trouble or six months down the track and one break up later you might just wake up to your tyres slashed.
This one should be obvious, but sadly we’ve all witnessed the dangers of being sucked into the big black hole labelled “EX”. He may claim to have changed, or you think you can see him with no feelings attached, but this one is a disaster waiting to happen. Swipe left, throw your phone in a lake and run away as far as you can. Preferably to somewhere with a sunny beach and cocktails.
Feature Image: Grease (1978), Paramount Pictures
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