All the single ladies, now put your hands up! Women around the world rejoiced in 2008 when Queen Bey released that killer single and made us all feel great about being… erm, single. And then she confused our empowered single gal minds with Drunk in Love, but that’s a musical betrayal for another day.
To celebrate the freedom of single life, we’ve compiled a list of the greatest things about being a free agent. So put your freakum dress on and run the world, all you flawless single ladies. It’s time to strut.
You get to go to the movies judgement-free
Going [Han] solo to the movies is quite empowering. Purchase a ticket for one in the middle of the middle row (of course), grab that large popcorn and Frozen Coke combo to accompany the M&M’s you snuck in and settle your little tuchus down for an enjoyable few hours. There’s no constant chatter from your companion, no being judged for your popcorn shovelling methods, and no being scolded for falling asleep.
If this doesn’t sound like a match made in heaven, then maybe you should get a Netflix subscription instead (see item #4).
No boyfriend babysitting
You can go out to a club and dance the night away with your best gal pals and not have to worry about whether or not your boyfy is having a good time. The only thing you need to care about is your moves and maybe a few other things like safety, money and your surroundings. But mainly your moves. Also there’s no boyfriend baby sitting at events; you don’t need to put your good time on hold because someone is sitting like Nigel No-Friends in the corner.
You get to eat ALL the food
A poll at the Style office revealed the biggest benefit of single life is food, because a girl’s gotta eat. Take a page out of Sandra Bullock’s book in Two Weeks’ Notice and familiarise yourself with your local takeaway joint. If you want honey chicken, Mongolian lamb, chicken cashew nut AND special fried rice, then you go, Glen Coco! And as a bonus, you don’t need to share it! If you can’t eat it all in one seating, fear not: you have breakfast, lunch and dinner covered for tomorrow. If you’re like us and hate sharing food, like won’t-ever-go-to-tapas-restaurants-level hate, then this is a big pro for you.
No one Messes With Your Netflix Queue
You can’t buy love but you can buy Netflix and that’s basically the same thing. For a measly $11.99 a month you can enjoy all of your favourite television shows and movies for hours and hours and a few hours more. As a plus, the Netflix algorithm will remember what you’ve watched and recommend a selection of other shows and movies to match your taste so you can receive endless recommendations of all the best J. Lo rom-coms and the hottest Zac Efron films. If that isn’t true love then we don’t know what is. You can finally watch all of your guilty pleasures without being judged and binge-watch all 10 seasons of Friends without checking to see if your s/o wants to watch something else. The power’s in your hands.
You Get All The Sleep
If you’re lucky enough to have a double, queen or king-size bed all to yourself then you are literally living the dream. This dream palace is all yours forever, you can curl up with the aforementioned takeaway food, sleep like a starfish and not be woken up by snoring or a moving log next to you. This is by far one of the most comfortable things about being single, but if you prefer a snuggle buddy and your roommate is sick of filling in, then purchase a boyfriend pillow, the perfect gift for all single gals.
You can spend money guilt-free
You want that top in three different colours? Treat yo’self. You want to buy those shoes from Uniqlo? Treat yo’self! Want ANOTHER candle? Treat yo’self! And if you want to buy a 10-pack of OPI nail polish even if you already have four of the colours in full size? TREAT YO’SELF! You do not have to explain your spending decisions to ANYONE (except your bank if things get out of hand on your credit card).
You can travel carefree
Travelling is always fun and doing it alone is even better! You can go see all the temples in India or eat at every single pizza shop you walk past in Rome, because YOU said so! Also, planning a trip is so much easier because you only have to care about you, you and you. And maybe a friend if you want. But you don’t have to co-ordinate work leave with the same person every year; just book your ticket, pack your bags, put on your Birkenstocks and go. It will be one of the most empowering trips of your life and you can find yourself Eat, Pray, Love-style.
So much time for activities
Another benefit of riding solo like Jason Derulo is that you’ll have loads of extra time to fill with activities. No couple = no time wasted disagreeing on things, deciding on things, worrying about things. Take up knitting, learn to sew, read a novel or binge-watch a show on Netflix – whatever tickles your fancy. If you can’t choose one hobby, do them all! Take all the time you would have wasted if you were still with that old flame and fill it with a super fun list of activities to try!
Save dat money
Gone are the days of begging for money. You’re single, so you have le cash to splash!
You will now find yourself inundated with cash to support all of the activities and nights out that you have planned. Think about it: the end of a relationship signifies the end of a gift-giving era! No more birthdays, anniversary, Valentine’s Day or Christmas presents for them! Instead, you can buy those gifts for YOURSELF. It’s a win-win for everyone and another excuse to treat yo’self.
Cheers to being single and goddamn fabulous.