Shopping centres are sneaky. December arrives and all of a sudden you’re assaulted with Christmas decorations everywhere and endless Christmas carol loops and everyone enters panic mode because WHEN DID CHRISTMAS GET SO CLOSE?
Early December may feel like the Thursday of the year but it’s time to dig out that Christmas tree and start buying gifts for people to show them how much
consumerism rules your life they mean to you. But how do you get that Christmas feel with minimum effort? After all, you’re very busy and important and you have zero time to be tackling a Christmas tree or baking festive treats or wrapping presents. Sit back and relax, ladies. We’ve got the lazy girl’s guide to Christmas in the bag.
You want a Christmas tree. Your home feels bare and un-Christmassy without it. But hecked if you’re putting up that sucker yourself. Or decorating it. Or pulling it down and packing it away.
Did you know that you can pay someone to decorate your Christmas tree (and entire house) for you? And no, we’re not talking about your next-door neighbour’s kid or your younger siblings/cousins. We’re talking professionals, darling. Visit The Prop House and VM+ studio in Woolloongabba, where you can basically just point to things you like and have someone do all the hard work for you. It might be pricey but GUESS WHAT? You don’t have to do this every year. Once you have a Christmas tree set-up that you like, just grab some Glad Wrap and go to town.
Store it in your garage throughout the year, bring it up next Christmas and unwrap a perfectly-decorated tree with zero fuss. It’ll be a Christmas miracle!
Shop ’til you drop
No one wants to brave the madness of shopping centre car parks in the lead-up to Christmas. No one. But if you’ve left it too late to order everything online and get it delivered to your house then you need to be prepared. Make a list of every single present you need. Check it twice. Ring stores before you leave the house, make sure they have what you need, and ask if they can put it aside. Then it’s time to actually shop. Ugh.
Now, if you’re really not feeling the car park thing, then catch a bus. “Great idea, morons,” we hear you say. “How am I supposed to lug all the presents home?” Solution: make your first stop a discount or department store and nab one of those granny trolleys to easily transport things. (Tip: pick up any Christmas cards/tags that you need while you’re there so you don’t have to do any unnecessary back-pedalling.)
If you’re super against buying a granny trolley, bring your own suitcase and pack it all in there. Preferably one of the ones with four wheels that you can just wheel along beside you. It may not be the most stylish thing but spending an hour and a half trying to exit labyrinthine car parks isn’t a good look on anyone.
Once you’ve picked up everything that was on hold and wrestled other humans for the rest, you could head home and try and wrap everything yourself. Or, if there happens to be a gift-wrapping station at the shopping centre, you could make a few gold-coin donations to get someone else to do the wrapping for you. (Just make sure you know what’s what before it’s wrapped up so you know how to label it later.)
Load it all in your granny trolley or suitcase, hop on a bus, and get home. All you need to do is attach the gift tags or stickers and you are good to go, my friend. All your Christmas shopping and wrapping has been conquered in one fell swoop and you can recline like a god while everyone else is still stuck in The Hunger Games of the car park world. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
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