It was fun while it lasted but, like butterfly clips and sagging pants with wallet chains, these things have had their day. Hopefully. These are our predictions for what’s on the way out as the new year rolls in.
Are you Storm from X-Men? Are you a glorious elfin goddess? No? (Maybe.) Time to say goodbye to that luxurious silver mane, Shadowfax. Unless you are embracing your greys super early in life, savour your youth. There’s plenty of time for greys in your future.
We’re sorry to have to break this to you but bubble nails tend to look like the before picture of Scholl’s fungal nail treatment ads. There are much better and healthier-looking nail treatments out there for you to choose from.
We started with balayage. Then everyone’s balayage grew out and looked weird so ombre hair made us all feel a bit better. Your colour has probably grown out by now so let’s just leave it that way. At any rate, we’ll probably move on to barely-tipped ends for those still in the awkward in-between stage of regrowth.
Arm prison aka off-the-shoulder tops
What have our arms done to receive this treatment? What if we have a piece of hair stuck to our lipstick? What if we’re having a sudden wardrobe malfunction? What if we just want to MOVE OUR DAMN ARMS WHEN OUT AND ABOUT? Set them free and let women everywhere know again the pleasure of arm mobility.
Clip-on man buns
NO. No. If you want a man bun, sure. Some people even manage to look quite dignified and suave with them but they are rare creatures. Like unicorns. We all laugh at Donald Trump’s toupee so don’t make us laugh at you.
Yeah OK we get it, you like rocking the beard and it looked trendy because hipster... Blah blah blah. We think bushranger long beards for the sake of being trendy have had their day. You are not Ned Kelly, so shave that beard off and leave the beards to those who suit them (bikies, real-life lumberjacks etc). Because beards teamed with deep-V T-shirts, form fitting shorts and boat shoes have just got to go.
It. Looks. Like. Dandruff. Sparkly dandruff, but dandruff nonetheless. If you want to try it for your NYE party or some fancy event, then go right ahead. But glitter is the herpes of the craft world so quit spreading it to the unsuspecting public whenever a breeze messes up your ’do. And don't even get us STARTED on glitter armpit hair.
Overly contoured faces
Almost every year someone says to cut the contouring and yet it grows progressively more intense, and now? Well you just look like you have stripes of dirt on your face. So let’s try some reverse psychology here. KEEP CONTOURING. Contour until your own parents won’t recognise you. Sculpt until you could confuse any police line-up. Make your cheekbones so harsh that people fear they will cut themselves on your face.
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