Have you ever wanted to read your date’s body language? Or wondered what kind of signals YOU’RE giving off?
“They’re blinking a LOT. What does that mean? That eye contact lasted a long time. Why are they pointing their legs like that? Do they want to leave?” We’ve all been there. And to give us a crash course in Body Language 101, we called in the big guns: Body Language expert David Alssema.
David says there are several signals to watch out for and they’re shown in clusters. This means there might be more than three signals at a time and they might just confirm their interest in you! Oh là là!
Main signals to watch out for
Touching more than normal - even elbow touches say a lot
Adjusting your clothing – e.g. playing with jacket zips or hair
Extended eye gazes - longer glances to attract attention
Sub-signals to watch out for
Feet pointed towards you
Genuine smiling with the mouth and eyes, as well as laughing
Questions of interest (open-ended questions)
How to know if they’re just not that into you
While it could be heartbreaking to find out that someone isn’t as keen as you’d hoped, being able to read it well in advance is going to do you wonders!
David says you can tell your date isn’t interested if they do the opposite to the above signals. This means less eye contact, pulling away from you, their interest is elsewhere, having their feet point towards another direction or person, fake smiling using their mouth only and closed questions rather than open.
Have you ever wondered what flirting techniques men use? I certainly have! Some men may gaze longer than normal to gain your attention. David says men may also try and attract attention to their “alpha status” by taking up more space. This could mean sitting in the middle of a couch with their arms out or placing their hands around their hip region - otherwise known as the Cowboy Stanc’ (dayuuum)
Now, what do the ladies do when flirting up a storm with a potential suitor? We use techniques such as a seductive gaze (head down with our eyes up) or we place our hands on our face when leaning on a table. David says this shows our full interest in the other person. Some of us play with objects or subtly pay attention to the mouth. We may even pout to attract attention to lips (*cough* guilty *cough*). When we show our neck, it indicates trust – if you toss your hair back a lot, that one’s all you.
I’m all about that hair flick lyf.
How to know what they’re thinking
When it comes to knowing what the other person could be thinking, eye direction is a big indicator. If you ask a question and read the eyes, you may see a visual response instead. David says that our bodies will display communication visually. This happens many times without a verbal response and eye direction will indicate self-talk and auditory responses too.
Top tips for a good first meet
1. Keep body language open
2. Keep hands in sight - not in pockets.
3. Don’t fold your arms
4. Smile and face the person of interest
5. Be genuine!