Fear looks back, WORRY looks down, love looks up and smiles. Of course there will always be dilemmas in life that need our attention. However habitual WORRY is driven by fear based thought. When facing any problem what helps us most, rather than hinder us, is to deliberately decide to change gears, shifting from WORRY into "prudent concern".
Prudence is a beautiful Latin word that simply means "caution". Like the yellow traffic light prudence encourages us to slow down, take our time and take care.
Concern is a word that also has Latin origins derived from the term "to mingle together". Both of these words "prudent and concern" involve love, wisdom, connection and self-care. So next time we catch ourselves getting drunk on fear, immobilised with WORRY, prudent concern is like a good sobering strong coffee, it's our solution.
Here are a couple of quick reminders that have helped me sustain my emotional balance over the years. Just asking myself these two questions enables me to make the U turn away from WORRY back towards prudent concern.
1. Is there a "yellow light of caution" we can bring to the situation through our actions or words that could be said or done to help slow down our chaotic fear? Something like … “I need some time to process this” or “I don’t know so I need to find out more”, or perhaps just going for a walk or making cuppa to catch our emotional breath so overwhelm doesn’t kick in.
2. Are there words or actions that we can say or do to reassure ourselves that emotional connection, support and love are available for me or the other upset person I’m worried about? Perhaps call someone who loves us enough to be respectfully honest. Or even seek a second professional opinion.
Sometimes if we're alone just remembering that WORRY won't keep the bad stuff from happening tomorrow is wise. WORRYING will only remove any enjoyment of the good stuff around us today. WORRY doesn't take away our troubles it just takes away our personal peace.
So with the week ahead, let's decide to replace any WORRIES with prudent concerns? Remembering it serves no purpose WORRYING about things we have no control over for there is nothing we can do about them. WORRYING about the things we actually do have control over, without taking constructive action also keeps us immobilised.
Excessive WORRY contributes to depression rendering us frozen in fear. Prudent concern allows us to show we care, do our best within any dilemma and conserve our peace of mind and self-respect.
One last tip. Next time you catch yourself WORRYING remember you’re emotionally self-neglecting, so stop for a moment. Close your eyes and just breathe. Deeply and slowly. This is an act of kindness, genuine attention and calming patience we can gift ourselves with anytime, anywhere. It’s a gentle act of self-care that interrupts our chaotic WORRYING.
One more thing I believe with all my heart is that if the WORRYSOME certain something is inevitable and out of our hands, love will find a way to help us through it, if we allow it.
Always has, always will.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx