You know when you’re scrolling through your feed and you see the daily engagement announcement? Yeah, I said DAILY. When everyone on your friends list is getting engaged and you’re just winging life, there are definitely some initial thoughts that come to mind. Here are nine thoughts we have when we see an engagement announcement:
How are her nails done to perfection?
She looks immaculate. Her nails are FRESHLY done. She must’ve known something was up. I swear, if he had the forethought to treat her to a shellac manicure, I will flip a table. That’s too thoughtful. Like, what sort of guy does that? I’ve had enough. Where’s my wine?
But how’d he do it?
So there’s a snap of the ring and they seem to be in a garden. Yeah, yeah, congrats but HOW did he propose? I’m refreshing your damn Facebook post. Give me the goods. Most importantly, was it everything you pinned on your Dream Proposal Pinterest board? If it isn’t, I will make him do it again. I mean, it mightn’t be as big a surprise the second time but the photos will look better. Let’s be real, that compost bin in the background does not look cute.
Dat ring though
Dayuuum, he did well! I try not to judge engagement rings but it just comes so naturally. Did you pick it together? Is he just really gifted at finding a cut that gives me so much life I might just have to go and get myself a diamond ring? Who said they only had to be for engagements? Now, I’m just going to screenshot it and file it in my Future Life folder on my hard drive so that I am ready to pull it out when I get into a serious relationship… or if I meet my celebrity crush (Dave Franco, I’m looking at you).
This is SO set up
This seems more scripted than The Bold and The Beautiful! How was she not supposed to notice the flash mob in the background, the videographer hiding around the corner and her family waiting behind that damn palm tree? That video of her reaction when he bent down on one knee and popped the question was so fake, I can’t even deal. She needs to enrol in NIDA pronto because I ain’t buying that.
That’s soo cute… I’m going to throw up
OMG, that is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Wow. Just wow. I am blown away by the romance, the love, how perfect you two are together. Isn’t it beautiful? I will start waking up every day with a more positive outlook on life and try to see the beauty in everything. I am at peace with the world and happy you have found the love of your life. My heart is full. I feel so much excitement, I feel so much joy for you both, I feel… I feel sick. Nup, this is too full-on, hey.
About bloody time!
You’ve been dating for eight years so it’s about time you two got engaged. I’ve been losing sleep over this. Don’t get me wrong - I’m super happy for you but I’m just glad I no longer have to put up with my friend complaining about not being engaged yet. Now she’s going to be over the moon, which makes ME over the moon! Thank you for doing this and putting all of us out of our misery. Now we can focus on planning a fabulous wedding!
So. Much. Commitment.
Being a professional single lady, I am just constantly astounded by the amount of commitment that goes into this. Like, what do you do if they steal the blanket in the middle of the night? To me, that’s serious enough to break up over. This is such a BIG deal! They are committing their lives to each other. I can barely stay committed to getting out of the bed in the mornings. I’m quite impressed with this, actually. Maybe one day I’ll trick some poor guy into committing to me…
Wow, I’m so single
Sure, you can be single but have you ever been DEEPLY single? You know the type of single I’m talking about, right? You are used to spreading out in the bed without someone blocking your way, you binge-watch rom-coms for 12 hours on a Saturday, you aimlessly swipe on Tinder and you freak out when a guy asks you out. It all seems totally fine until your bestie gets engaged and you almost go into a state of panic because doesn’t this mean you have to find a guy? It’s all too much.
Aww, I’m happy for them
Regardless of all the above thoughts, you have to admit you’re super excited for them. You try not to admit it, but you love the idea of getting engaged one day. You also have a secret Pinterest board of your dream wedding. You know what you want your dress to look like, your wedding song, your dream location and you want to dance to a rap song down the aisle. You can’t help but be happy for them - it’s an exciting time! One day that will be you… but let’s not rush that one! Those rom-coms are calling.
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