Last week, the whole of Australia was left FURIOUS when The Bachelor, Richie Strahan, chose single mum Alex Nation over Nikki Gogan in a heart-stopping, jaw-dropping, wtf-shouting finale!
Everybody was CERTAIN he was going to choose Nikki - the bubbly, sweet-as-can-be girl that lives just an hour away from him. The chemistry was undeniable, the relationship was sweet and pure. But in a shocking twist, Richie turned his back on Australia and went with Alex. No one is happy.
I think I can speak for the nation (Alex pun not intended because she shouldn’t have won) when I say it was the biggest The Bachelor Australia disappointment of ALL TIME. He’s definitely taken the cake from Blake Garvey as Australia’s “most hated man” overnight, that’s for sure! And I’ve decided to share the exact thoughts that were going through my head at while watching the finale.
1. Oh my god, it’s starting. I’M SO NERVOUS!
2. Snap! That scenery in Bali is pretty good. *dreams of Bali getaway*
3. Righto, Osher, we get it. Hurry up with the dates!
4. The flashbacks from this season of The Bachelor rival those in bloody Bold and the Beautiful!
5. Ah yes, Richie’s sunset reflections - always a winner.
6. Everyone shut up! He’s about to introduce the girls to his mum (Kate) and sist – oh, I like her dress! Is that a Camilla?
7. All right, back on track. First up is Alex. Gurrrl, I know a Kookaï dress when I see one. Her hair annoys me.
8. I wonder how his mum is going to react when Alex mentions that she has a son. Someone grab me some popcorn!
9. All is going well and omg, hold the phone - she’s about to bring it up!
10. Richie’s mum does NOT seem happy about that. Her face says it all! Nikki 4 da winnnnnnn!
11. It’s time for Alex to chat to the mother. TAKE HER DOWN, KATE!
12. Lols, you can tell Kate isn’t feeling too good about Alex’s situation. Nikki is definitely going to win *logs into Sportsbet*
13. Now that that’s over, I am dying to know what she has to say to Richie about Alex!
14. KATE CALLED HIM RICHARD! You know $H#! is getting serious when your mum calls you by your full name. Pull yourself together, RICHARD! Omg, RICHARD! That’s the best name to yell.
15. Can’t tell if outfit change or a new day but thank goodness it’s Nikki’s turn. She’s amazing. She’s got this in the bag.
16. Kate warns Nikki that she’s going to get a grilling! Damn, Kate! You’ve got some sass, gf!
17. Awwww, you can tell Kate LOVES Nikki! But let’s be real, who doesn’t?! She is bloody delightful and everyone in Australia knows it!
18. Ooooh, she definitely prefers Nikki over Alex. Come on Rich, sort ya’self out already!
19. I love that Richie’s mum is telling him to consider absolutely everything. Aka ALEX because she has a child and she’s probs not ready to be G-ma to another man’s baby! Nikki 5eva.
20. FINALLY we’re getting to the dates. I’m getting more nervous by the second. Lord, have MERCY! I need a cuppa.
21. Oh the first date is for Nikki! I hope that means because she’s the best and he is so in lurv that he couldn’t wait to see her again. #InJesusNameAmen.
22. Classic Bachie. Helicopters are so 2015. Get with the times.
23. Nikki is so in love with him, it’s beautiful! He’s so lucky to have her, I can’t even deal with this cuteness.
24. He’s taken her to a temple full of MONKEYS?! R u jokin’… that’s so fun! *Googles “Can you have monkeys as pets in Australia?”*
25. Damn, these monkeys have no appreciation or respect for personal space *backspaces Google search* But I still want one *retypes Google search*
26. Get it, gurl!!! Keep makin’ out with Rich, you deserve it. YAS QUEEN!
27. The way he compliments her is so lovely. You can tell it’s her, I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!
28. Ugh, why does Alex even need a date when Nikki is the one for him? Like, what’s the point here, Channel 10?!
29. They get to have a boat to themselves! Well shoot, that’s a decent date.
30. The fact that Richie just said “come aboard, matey” in a pirate accent is the best thing I’ve ever heard. Kinda cringe-worthy but kinda funny.
31. Pfft, Alex makes Richie feel ignited with life. Yeah righto. But wait, he didn’t say that about Nikki… *hyperventilates*
32. All this girl talks about is the fact she’s a mum. My mum is a mum too, Alex. Have some respect. Unbelievable.
33. *Zones out from the whole Elijah talk*
34. Is it 8pm already? Gosh, time flies. I could really go for a snack.
35. *snaps out of it* Of course they’re jumping into the water holding hands. This date better start to go downhill soon because I’m starting to sweat.
36. Omg, Alex actually looks like a frog swimming in the ocean.
37. I can’t even deal. Her frog legs are too much. Uncanny!
38. K, stop making out in the ocean. Richie, remember Nikki? Your one true love? Yeah, so cut it out.
39. Now that they’re back on land, maybe now things will go downhill and he’ll run into Nikki’s open arms.
40. Well $H#!, this is going too well… surely it’s not Alex. That would be crazy! *laughs nervously*
41. DID SHE JUST SAY SHE LOVES HIM?!
42. Oh my god, his reaction was too happy. NOOOOOOOOO! ABORT. ABORT. ABORT!!!!
43. It’s Judgement Day. I can’t even breathe. I need a paper bag. No, seriously. I actually can’t breathe. HELP!
44. It’s got to be Nikki. He would have to be the biggest idiot alive if he doesn’t choose her. There’s no doubt about it. She’s so amazing! COME ON, RICHIE!
45. Lol at the Dyson product placement while Nikki is getting ready. Not obvious at all.
46. Holy crap, I’m about to faint.
47. Shut up, Alex. No one wants you to win.
48. Omg Nikki, I can’t. I think he chooses you too! I love how confident she is in the relationship. You’ve got this. He can’t hurt you, girl!
49. *turns up the volume* HERE WE GO! I AM SHAKING. I AM NERVOUS. MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST.
50. WAIT. WHAT. WHAT?!!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!
51. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?! NO! WHAT THE *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEPING BEEEEEEP*
52. ARE YOU MENTAL, RICHIE?! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS BS! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO THE NICEST WOMAN IN AUSTRALIA?! Oh my god, I’m CRYING!
53. What an absolute moron! Does he NOT realise how wonderful she is?! How could he hurt her like that? I can’t even handle this. I don’t believe in love anymore, it’s ruined.
54. I need to try to breathe. This is all too much.
55. The way she’s handling this is beautiful. He’s made the biggest mistake of his life. You can’t let someone like that go! The Bachelor is RIGGED! I’m so upset.
56. I don’t even want to watch the rest, I’m so angry.
57. Yeah, yeah, here comes Alex blah blah blah. Here’s Richie’s massive monologue about how he’s been looking for someone and he’s found it yoloswag.
58. What a letdown. I’ve been right with the choices every. Damn. YEAR and now I’ve been BLINDSIDED. I’m over the hurt and the lies.
59. He doesn’t deserve Nikki. She’s too good for him.
60. Wow, I just wasn’t expecting that. Looking at social media now, I don’t think anyone was.
61. The shock is real.
62. NIKKI FOR BACHELORETTE 2017!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!
63. Nikki - gone but never forgotten.