Don’t act like you’re innocent.
Look, I’m not going to judge. I’ve said some of these things as well. I do live in Brisbane, after all.
How many of these comments have you made? Highest number gets to visit Stefan’s Skyneedle.*
1. If that ibis tries to take my chip one more time, I’ll deck him. Bloody bin chicken.
2. Sorry, WHERE is Springwood? Oh, near Ikea. I know where Ikea is. Obviously.
3. Can’t even get back on the freeway after going to Ikea. Clearly from the north side. GO TO THE NORTH LAKES ONE ALREADY.
4. I thought Holland Park was in Europe.
5. Annerley? I would never go that far south. My limit is Yeronga.
6. It’s Campos or nothing.
7. I’m not paying $15 for a movie ticket. We’re going to South Bank.
8. We have to catch up soon. Breakfast at West End?
9. It’ll always be the Suncorp Piazza to me.
10. It’s hot.
11. I saw that Marilyn Monroe woman in the city again. Her name’s Dian. Lovely lady.
12. Is this a Lang Park traffic area?
13. We should hit up The Three Monkeys.
14. Was that Stefan’s car?
15. *sees massive amount of humans* What’s on at Suncorp?
16. Public transport is so expensive.
17. Does this bus go to Queen Street?
18. Did you go to UQ or QUT? Wait… Griffith? What?
19. Gonna chill out with a pack of Milton Mangoes by the Brown Snake.
20. It’s hot.
21. Get it to take you there without tolls. I’m not going through the Clem.
22. Should’ve gone through the Clem.
23. It’s State of Origin. Why aren’t you wearing maroon?
24. Weren’t they on MKR?
25. Has anyone actually been on the Wheel of Brisbane?
26. Can you stay on the phone with me? Some hipster chick just threatened to bash me with her bike wheel because I’m not vegan.
27. Hey, it’s Ziggy the Bagman!
28. Does anyone even ride the Council bikes?
29. Hang on, I need to top up my Go Card.
30. It’s hot.
31. That dude at the train station is spitting his teeth onto the tracks again.
32. Siri just tried to drive me into the river. I miss the Refidex.
33. No, it’s Wednesday. We’re going to the R.E.
34. Reckon we can get Dave to bags a Riverfire spot for us?
35. There are NO restaurants open on a Monday.
36. Is that Michael from the Bachelor?
37. I need to stop eating late-night kebabs.
38. Blind Saxophone Man is sounding good today.
39. I won $15 at the casino once. Best night of my life.
40. It’s hot.
41. Careful. She’s an Ascot Mum.
42. Answer your PHONE. Oh. Daylight savings.
43. What happened to the hands outside the Hopoate building?
44. Niiiiiiiiiiice, Garry.
45. I’ll meet you outside Hungry Jack’s.
46. Steel Drum Guy hasn’t been outside the Casino in a while. What happened to him?
47. Why are we – oh, it’s roadworks. YOU’RE NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING.
48. Pre-drinks at mine?
49. Reckon we can get street parking?
50. It’s hot.
51. Is that Gordon Tallis?
52. Let’s do the KP stairs.
53. Gotta get me RMs out for Caxton tonight.
54. I got really sunburnt when I went to the coast this weekend.
55. Sorry, there was traffic on the M1.
56. If there’s no sausage sizzle I’m not going.
57. It’s really bloody hot.
* That’s not a euphemism. Also, you don’t ACTUALLY get to visit Stefan’s Skyneedle. I made that up. Life is cruel sometimes.
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